Nathan Hornswaggle

"Marathons are for losers!"

Sammy Davis impressionist

"It's electric!!"

El Pompador

"El Pompador will make love to everyone who is there. Even himself if he must."

Smeltz

"People say there's something creepy about me. I think it's because I have three balls!"

Patrick Duffy

"So, you're not gonna say anything about Pompador and me and our night together are you?"

Bum on Street

"There marathon izzz ware' my bitchzes are (vomits) F**kin' A!"

Random British Guy

"Oh, it's a bloody good time. It's almost as good as spotted dick."

Sylvia

"What did that Random British Guy say about spotted dick?"

Pappy

"Awww, shit. My eye done fell out."

Party Boy

"Yay! Naked Fest 1999!! What was that? Oh, sorry....Yay! Marathon 2k3!"