I walked out of the theater the other day completely flabbergasted.  I had just seen Pirates of the Caribbean.  Some seemed to enjoy it, while others including myself, hated it.  I just dont understand the Hollywood summer film anymore.  In just a few days, Pirates of the Caribbean had racked in 70 million plus.  It was at this point that I felt old.  I found myself saying, Back in my day movies only made 100 million.  Then the reality struck me.  This year alone weve had several films that have opened (!) with 60 million plus.  Again, Back in my day if you didnt make a movie with walking Dinosaurs or Batman in the prefix, you didnt make 60 million plus on opening weekend.  You made 30 million and you liked it.  Now any movie can make that kind of dough and not even be well received.  Heres just a few of the reasons:

            I mainly blame the PG-13 rating.  While the PG-13 rating does allow young moviegoers to see more films, this dreaded rating has caused a stir within Hollywood and with me.  A few years ago theater owners started cracking down on kids who were going to see R rated films and as a result, not that many people turned out for R rated movies.  Hollywood got the hint and started making teen-friendly action flicks. 

            Does this mean the violence is toned down?  Heavens no, in fact, in some cases the violence is much worse, but the difference is that there is no naughty language and no blood.  Now we see huge car chases through cities where buildings topple and cars are crushed, but its ok because not a single soul perishes.  Now, Im not saying bring on the violence, what I am saying however, is that Hollywood needs to take a look at how that affects a child.  A kid sees someone shot onscreen.  Since its PG-13, theres no blood.  Now that kid is thinking, Hey, shooting people is cool because there are no consequences.  The R rating is something that is sorely needed back into the theaters.  People need to see how awful violence really is.  They need to see that there is a reaction when someone is shot.  They bleed, they die and its absolutely horrifying.

            Alas, Hollywood continues to spin its deadly PG-13 web, churning out films that are for everyone and no one all at the same time.  Pirates of the Caribbean was exactly this.  It would have made a wonderful PG rated childrens film that appealed to kids as well as Mom and Pa.  Or they could have gone all out and made a great R rated film that was not only scary, but realistic.  Instead, they went for a misguided PG-13.  Personally, since the movie is based on a ride, I would have greatly appreciated a PG rated film. 

            While the PG-13 rating may be the cause of a lot of heartache, the lackluster sequel is another problem.  This really isnt a cause of high grosses, but another problem all together.  The fact is, people go see sequels.  They skyrocket towards 60 million, but die off quicker than Vanilla Ices career because they stink.  Reason: producers have this mindset that every sequel must take all the elements from the first and multiply it all by 2.  Case in point, Charlies Angels: Full Throttle.  Now heres a film that literally takes the entire first movie (right down to identical dialogue) and multiplies it by 2.  Double the action, double the stunts, double the characters, and double the half-naked girls.  Sadly, they didnt double the plot or characterization.  In fact, I felt as though I was watching a completely different cast than the first movie.  Who were these people I was watching?             How about The Matrix Reloaded, which doubled everything, but forgot the very point of the first film.  The point was that Neo did NOT have to fight agents in the first place.  The agents were programs.  Thats all.  So what does he do in this one, he fights agents.  Actually, he goes out of his way on many occasions, to fight agents.  Now, not all sequels fall prey to this however.  Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines simply took its already developed formula and added to it instead of multiplying everything.  T2 actually had more action than this film did. 

           The moviegoers are starting to fight back though.  In the recent weeks weve seen a resistance to all these awful films.  Charlies Angels: Full Throttle bombed.  The Hulk did not smash and 2 Fast 2 Furious did not drive away with everyones cash.  The dumb, pre-processed Hollywood farce may have seen its day.  People are hopefully getting the point.  We pay seven dollars to see stupid commercials before the show and when we finally get to see the movie, we get a flick thats not even worth being a movie of the week on UPN.

            On a final note, Id like to send a shout out to both Hollywood and to the loving moviegoers who so desperately seek quality entertainment:

            To Moviegoers: we must stand up against the madness of Hollywood.  Go see awesome international hits films like Bend it Like Beckham, 28 Days Later, and Swimming Pool.  See quality Hollywood flicks like Bruce Almighty, X-Men 2, Finding Nemo and T3.  And most importantly, read reviews and listen to what the critics have to say.  If they really hate a movie, theres probably a good reason why.  And finally, I cant stress this point enough, dont go see reality movies.  Its bad enough that they dominate our T.V. screens.

            To Hollywood:  Enough with the PG-13 rating already.  Make kids films, and make films for adults.  Stop making films that appeal to no one.  We wont see it.  Stop trying to one-up the previous film too.  Just try to make a movie thats good, thats why the first one was successful in the first place.  And most importantly, dont cast Ashton Kutcher as Batman, please, I beg of you.  Dont punk Batman.  Leave him with some dignity!