In 1974, a youthful filmmaker named Tobe Hooper made a film that scared the wits out of every man, woman and child. That film was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a psychological thriller/slasher film like no other before it. Nearly thirty years later, Tobes original nightmarish vision still captures the fears of moviegoers across the nation (a new DVD is also available). With such credibility, memories and genuine terror behind the original, it is easy to see why one might be a just little nervous about a Michael Bay (Armageddon, Bad Boys II) produced remake. Since some people are new to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, it will be easiest to split this review into three separate sections: Texas Chainsaw as a remake, Texas Chainsaw as a revision or retelling and Texas Chainsaw as its own film. This way you can choose which review you want to read based on your knowledge of the series in a sort of Choose you own adventure style. Read all of them if you prefer.

            Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a remake.

            Tobes Chainsaw was about a group of innocent Earth loving hippies who find Hell in the middle of Texas. They have no spiritual training and thus their journey is a frightening, jolting ride of the human psyche. The terror that Sally Hardesty (the films original heroine played by Marilyn Burns) undergoes is enough to make you never want to journey into rural Texas ever again. Her pain, her fear and her intensity are unlike anything put on film. Now, with the remake, we have Jessica Biel as the heroine. Shes too strong, shes too sexy and shes too Hollywood to really make us believe her. In the original, the gore was subtle (Hooper originally wanted it to be PG). Here, the gore is overplayed to make the audience afraid. Everything is gooey and dark. The film does not feel like a low budget, student film. Its a real motion picture, with a big budget and fairly big stars.

            There is an overall feeling of disconnect with the main characters. In the original, the opening car ride took over 15 minutes. We knew who these people were by the end of that scene. Now, we are treated to a line or two about each character and the car ride is only about three minutes.  As for the villains, oddly enough, Leatherface is the least interesting character of the villains. The reaming characters only have half a dozen lines, if that. In the original, we have our fateful crew driving to their relatives estate, here we have a new crew going to a Skynard concert and smuggling dope back from Mexico. What was once truly genuine is now clichéd as though director, Marus Nispel never lived in 1973. We have Sweet Home Alabama playing in the car. We have couples who are spreading love. We have bumper stickers that read Hippie Chicks are great. This is not a 70s movie. It is a 2003 movie emulating a 70s movie. As a remake, this one is awful.

            Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a revision.

            Even though the film fails at being a remake, it succeeds as a retelling or revision. It fact, its probably the best retelling made thus far.  The film slickly updates all the elements of the original. While the pacing is a bit brisk, it still remains loose enough to be scary. The film does not capture the style or feel of the original, but it does grab its own unique style that is sure to please most moviegoers. The new Massacre is thankfully not trying to recreate the original. It desires to be its own film, rather than a remake, a smart move given the audience reception to Gus Van Sants underrated remake of Psycho. Director, Marcus Nispel could never understand the emotions and ideas that Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel were trying to convey in 1974 so instead, he fuses his own feeling and ideas into the new Chainsaw. While some of it doesnt work, most of it does, making it far more successful than Tim Burtons awful retelling, Planet of the Apes.

            Just to set the record straight, this film is not really based on a true story as the false advertising would lead you to believe. It is loosely based on the murders of Ed Gien, a killer who has inspired more slasher films than you could possibly imagine including Psycho and Silence of the Lambs, just to name a few. Gein only murdered two people. He did dig up the bodies of several women (typically middle aged, overweight woman, not young hippies). He did make suits out of their skin, which is, of course, the inspiration for Leatherface. Thats where the truth ends. The rest of the story was a concoction of Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel, the films original writers, so sit tight, this didnt actually happen.

            Texas Chainsaw Massacre as its own film.

            Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a truly terrifying horror film on its own. There are plenty of genuine scares to keep you at the edge of your seat. R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket, Willard) steals the show as Sheriff Hoyt. His odd performance can only be described as R-rated Christopher Walken. The music is the most grating element of the film. It sounds like cheesy background music for a horror videogame rather than an honest score. Several jolts are actually lost because the score cues dont match the scares onscreen. We know the evil house is evil because the score tells us how to feel. What makes a movie scary is when there isnt music. We dont know when to be scared and we dont know how to feel about the non-scary moments. Thats when a jolt scare works. If the music is always creepy, then we get subdued.